Author: WhiteWitch
•16:44
I wanted to start writing again. Maybe it will help me work through some of the feelings I'm dealing with.

A lot of things have changed since last I wrote anything in this blog. I have moved from The Bay Area to Los Angeles. It was a strange thing because I felt inside me that it was time to leave even before I knew we had the option of moving. It seems life is taking me where I can learn the most.

Here in L.A. I sense that I need to start living again. By that I mean I need to overcome many of the fears I have, and find my own voice. Find my own place in life. I have no friends my own age here. And I often feel very tiny and weak around my friends who are very strong, and active women.

I basically feel lame and ashamed of myself. In the beginning it made me angry, but I think this might exactly be what I need. I have to look at that feeling of hurt beneath it all. I want to understand it and be free of it. I want to live without all this guilt and fear trapping me.

Today I'm going to the gym with a friend. I haven't been to the gym since I lived in Norway. I feel nervous about going tonight. I always fear the unknown. And in truth I find Los Angeles to be very big and rushed. Sometimes I feel very upset about how things are here. Sometimes I really enjoy living here...

Sometimes I miss Norway. But something inside me knows it's not time for me to go back yet. It's not right. It's not where I need to be to learn about myself. My life has taken up a different meaning since I started learning about gnosis, since I started observing what is actually happening inside of me.

Life is about learning about myself and to how to live life wisely. 
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