Author: WhiteWitch
•08:54
I got up early today. But then I also went to bed at 8pm yesterday. I was feeling tired and slightly sick. It hadn't been a very good day for me as I was feeling worried and tense. I think my worries drain me a lot.

This morning I went for a walk a little after 7am. And since it's a Sunday everyone is a sleep and everything is quiet. I felt at rest as I walked among the raindrops, flowers, trees, birds, cats and squirrels. I love looking at the world when it's not so rushed. I want to continue perceiving the magic of the morning. I hope I can get up early tomorrow as well.
Author: WhiteWitch
•08:48
I'm back in the US. I feel slightly depressed and angry about it. I felt so much freer being away from my life and everything in it. Coming back I realize how squeezed I truly feel here. I'm realizing that a lot of my anger has to do with guilt. I always feel guilty for things I have and haven't done. And feeling like that I hand over my life to other people. I just want to be a good girl, and I'm scared what will happen if I stop being a "good girl".

I was also getting used to the quietness of Norway. It was so nice to feel less rushed. It was also wonderful to feel that I wasn't that different from the people around me. In America I always feel different in the way I am.

And at the core of it all I feel terribly alone. When in Norway I felt sad that I couldn't spend Christmas with my mom, dad and sister. I couldn't spend Christmas in the house I grew up. I felt and I still feel that I don't truly belong anywhere. I don't know who to turn to with all my worries.