Author: WhiteWitch
I've been feeling very anxious lately, more so than normal. I think it started when I returned from Greece, when everything calmed down and I have time to think, to worry. I've been trying to understand why I feel so unsafe. I think I feel that I don't own my life. I feel that something bad is going to happen, and I have to try my best to be a good girl so it doesn't happen. I don't trust that everything will be ok, even though, deep down I feel looked after in everything.

I actually had a lovely time on Sunday. I went to the gnostic centre that I attend regularely, and it was nice talking with everyone again. In the beginning I felt very down. I wanted to run into the bathroom and cry. It has been long since I've felt that, and it puzzled me. This time I actually reached out to someone, and shared how I felt. That spark of courage helped me a lot. The rest of the day I spent painting a wall at the centre, and also eating out with friends. I worked on feeling the moment, to be in my body, forget about myself and just be. Someone once told me that all we have is this moment. That's true. There's nothing bad in this moment, right here, right now. The moment is wonderfully liberating. All my problem are in the past or in the future. Right now everything just is. If I can stay in the moment I can experience life.
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2 kommentarer:

On 24. april 2009 kl. 07:48 , Dubious sa...

Yes. . "Right now" is all we really have.

Warm hugs to you,

On 25. april 2009 kl. 17:45 , WhiteWitch sa...

Thanks for that :) Hugs back!