Author: WhiteWitch
•19:16
My husband and I recently returned from a trip to Greece. It was a good trip, though it was also very challenging for me. We we're going on a retreat for a few days, and I again found it hard to fit in among people. I freeze up and don't know what to say. I'm terrible at smalltalk. I felt very insecure and alone for a lot of the time, even though people were very kind, very friendly.

The most interesting and challenging part of the retreat was an 8 hour walk on Mount Olympus. I actually really enjoyed the trip. I felt I had a lot of strength inside me that I wanted to express by climbing up and down the mountain. I got very tired but I kept going. I went deep inside of myself and found a strength that never went away, no matter how exhausted I felt. When I focused on this strength I could keep on walking. I also worked on being in the moment. It was an amazing place to just be. It was so beautiful! I could feel the power of the snow covered mountains vibrating in the air around me. The view was spectacular. I also enjoyed touching many of the trees we walked by, and feel their strength against the palm of my hand. Can anyone else sense this? Sense the essence of the tree when you touch them? I'm not sure if it makes sense. But it sometimes feels as though they're silently speaking to me..

I felt like a warrior climbing up that mountain. I felt strong! I realized how sad it made me that I usually feel weak in every day life. Full of insecurity and guilt.

On our way home, I was surprised to see that I wasn't looking forward to returning to California. I mean, I don't think California itself was the problem, it's a beautiful place to live. -I just felt depressed. I realised that I feel confused about who I am, and that I no longer truly feel home anywhere. I've lost my roots. In a way it felt good to find that within myself. Now maybe I can understand it and let it go.
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