Author: WhiteWitch
I feel I have a lot of hidden beliefs. I feel I have to do the right thing, and push myself to "be a good girl" no matter what, or else somehow I will be punished. This belief makes it very hard for me to relax. Even when I'm at home I can't fully relax. I feel like I have to do so many things, and I don't know where to start, and I feel very tired.

I can't remember when I first started carrying the world upon my shoulders. Was it after my mom, sister and dad got sick and died? I kind of feel it was before that, and the pressure has slowly been building. I think I'm proud. I feel I have to be proud and strong and manage everything. And I'm so afraid of making mistakes.

I feel there is a terrible pain burried deep inside me. An angry, bitter, even hateful pain. A pain of feeling stepped on for so long, of not being useful, and of being alone. A pain that doesn't know how to let go, to relax and feel safe.
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