Author: WhiteWitch
•22:13
I want to be more simple. I want to be simple in the way I act, and in the way I feel. I want to let go of all my thoughts and worries, and put it to my divine mother, and my father in heaven. I want to feel beauty deeply.

I've been bringing The Flight of The Feathered Serpent with me to read on the bus and train on my way to school. It gives me a lot of strength. It's truly an amazing book. I don't understand half of what the author is talking about, but my heart drinks it all in. As I'm reading I get a feeling of remembering something eternal, something that my soul remembers but not my mind, because it's not from this lifetime. I want to cry deep inside myself. It's beautiful. I wish I could remember that something, that I understand in my heart, but that I can't put into thoughts or words...
Author: WhiteWitch
•09:57
I've been wanting to get up early, like just before sunrise, when everything feels quiet and magical, but instead I sleep until 9:30. It's not like I need that much sleep. I wake up much earlier than that, but I always decide to stay in bed. Maybe tomorrow will be different..

My cat jumped into bed with me in the early morning, she does that a lot, but normally she doesn't stay. This time however she lied down and purred happily, until my husband rolled around and nearly crushed her! Poor thing. She ran away after that.

I feel I need to find someone to talk to. I feel I'm bottling up too many thoughts and emotions, and it's very draining. It even makes me tremble sometimes when I'm around people. I want to talk about how I feel, but it never feels appropriate to do so, and I also don't know anyone I'd feel totally safe telling everything to. I should find someone professional I think, someone holistic. But who?
Author: WhiteWitch
•21:55
Feeling tired, upset in a way. I think I'm a perfectionist. Sometimes I feel so exhausted that I can hardly write anything.

I feel attracted to lavender. It's strange, I used to really not like the smell of lavender, and now I love it. I love the color, the smell, and gentle, soothing taste of lavender. I've been drinking lavender tea with wild-rose honey at least twice a day, and it comforts me. I'm not sure why I need to be comforted. I feel confused, and alone. I want to be someplace beautiful, with flowers and beautiful scents, with tea and song, someplace I feel completely at home. And there will be someone else there, a friend, or a mother, someone that loves me and that can help me understand.